i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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