btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
