Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
