I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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