the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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