You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
