oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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