WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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