He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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