The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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