So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
