I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry about my life...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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