i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
