i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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