we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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