I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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