Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
