On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
