is your mom at the bar?
I think I won the penis lottery.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize