Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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