Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
