I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
