there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
