so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come share oat with me in your robe
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
