My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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