if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
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He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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