weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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