People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
