I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize