In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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