but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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