he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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