I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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