we're blogging at a bar
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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