I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
