i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we made out on top of his cat.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize