a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I supernannyed him into submission
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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