If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
