I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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