Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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