Sponge bath it is.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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