i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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