..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
