So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize