Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Less talking, more tequila
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
