Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she pinky promised me she was 18
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
