dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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