if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
