ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize