It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
