Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
