I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
