I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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