So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
