just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
